Born Under the Influence

By Andrena Zawinski

(a Scopolamine Pantoum)

I passed through the narrow hills
of my mother’s hips one cold morning…
no one knows where she has been.
— “Mother’s Day” by Dorianne Laux

I was born under the influence of two flowers,
The opium poppy and deadly nightshade,
head tunneling past my mother’s flesh leaves,
her wrists and ankles strapped inside a labor crib.

Through the opium poppy and deadly nightshade
I was pulled from the womb in her Twilight Sleep,
her wrists and ankles strapped inside a labor crib,
pulled with forceps through delirium, struggling to breathe

I was pulled from the womb in her Twilight Sleep,
her Dammerschlaf induced amnesia blocking pain,
pulled with forceps through delirium, struggling to breathe,
her memory erased of me, frenzied and afraid
helicopter hail of unsolved mysteries

in her Dammerschlaf induced amnesia blocking pain
my head tunneling past her fleshy leaves
her memory erased of me. Frenzied and afraid,
I was born under the influence of two flowers.

Author’s Note
Scopolamine induced amnesia, created delirium and severe postpartum depression, and could weaken an infant’s central nervous system, requiring slapping of the bottom to stimulate breathing. It was used into the 1960s in the United States. Dammerschlaf is German for “miracle of painless childbirth.”

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Andrena Zawinski’s poetry has received accolades for lyricism, form, spirituality, and social concern. Her latest collection of poetry is Landings. She has two previous books: Something About (a PEN Oakland Josephine Miles Award) and Traveling in Reflected Light (a Kenneth Patchen Poetry Prize). She founded and runs a San Francisco Bay Area Women’s Poetry Salon and is also Features Editor at PoetryMagazine.com.